you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
