i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
