i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
