i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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