I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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