drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
