I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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