Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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