Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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