Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
