i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
