I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
