That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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