I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Quick, to the slutcave!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
