she kept yelling 'call me bella'
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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