I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she looked like the before picture.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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