i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
