was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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