Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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