i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
