here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
