i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
