i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize