oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
