im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I would ride that face into the sunset
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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