apparently the secret to your success is patron
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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