The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
