We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
