I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
