I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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