sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
