the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Even my vagina gasped.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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