Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
