Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We had to coat check the pizza.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
