I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Yo dont text me then not text me
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
