people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
