Do you still have your period?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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