Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
