oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
