Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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