Do you still have your period?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
