We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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