That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
