dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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