I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
