I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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