I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
