Soap is not a condiment
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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