omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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