we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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