The maid of honor just puked.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize