Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
