At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
