Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
MIDGETS
????
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize