Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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