I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
