i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
