Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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