is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
