Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
