and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
