at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize