All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
