bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
