Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
