The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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