Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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