I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I AM VODKA MAN
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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