He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
