just come out here and I will go home with you...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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