1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
