Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
