i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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