I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize