do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is Oprah even human
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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