New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
